Message to George Will: Do Not Opine About Things You Know Nothing About

George Will should smoke some pot instead of writing about it, because the dude clearly doesn't know what he's talking about.

His first mistake:

State governments, misunderstanding markets and ravenous for revenue, exaggerate the potential windfall from taxing legalized marijuana. California thinks it might reap $1.4 billion. But Rosalie Pacula, a Rand Corp. economist, estimates that prohibition raises marijuana production costs at least 400 percent, so legalization would cause prices to fall much more than the 50 percent assumed by the $1.4 billion estimate.

How did the Rand Corp figure that out? Sounds to me like they just pulled that out of their ass.

They're comparing production costs in a model that doesn't exist (wherein marijuana is legal and taxed) with a model that does (prohibition)? No shit? It's an estimate based on an estimate, and I'm supposed to be impressed?

But there's more:

Furthermore, marijuana is a normal good in that demand for it varies with price. Legalization, by drastically lowering price, will increase marijuana's public health costs, including mental and respiratory problems, and motor vehicle accidents.

George, George, George. In the past ten years, you've bought more bow ties than bags of weed, so let me clue you into a dirty little secret of marijuana prices.

They are remarkably stable.

A quarter ounce of schwag will cost you about $20 bucks. A quarter ounce of kind bud (the kind you get at the dispensaries...almost all of it locally grown) will cost you about a $100. So it was 10 years ago (20 years?), and so it is today.

The scenario Will envisions, prices going down as the market is flooded with legal weed, is ludicrous to anyone who actually participates in the cannabis market.

Prices will act like prices do on other products that appeal to the connoisseur, with the good stuff commanding a premium (think Starbucks/Lafite-Rothschild wine) and the not-so-good stuff going for a discount (think Folgers/Boone's Farm).

That's how the market will form. Will prices go down? Some of them. But some will go up, too.

As for the negative side effects Will is worried about...bah. Motor vehicle accidents? Fricking motor vehicle accidents?

The majority of motor vehicle accidents are caused by people who are NOT on marijuana. What should we do about them?

And mental and respiratory problems? Look at the bow-tied conservative wanker suddenly aligning himself with the nanny-state that sacrifices individual liberty out of some vague concern for my mental and respiratory health.

I love this, though:

States attempting to use high taxes to keep marijuana prices artificially high would leave a large market for much cheaper illegal -- unregulated and untaxed -- marijuana.

I see...so nothing would change.

Except that you would have the option to buy it legally. Oh the humanity!

Will's not done wanking though:

Colorado ranks sixth in the nation in identity theft, two-thirds of which is driven by the state's $1.4 billion annual methamphetamine addiction.

An alarming statistic, no doubt, but what does that have to do with legalizing marijuana?

Short answer: Nothing.

[Attorney General Suthers] is loath to see complete legalization of marijuana at a moment when new methods of cultivation are producing plants in which the active ingredient, THC, is "seven, eight times as concentrated" as it used to be.

Yeah, I've heard that before. And it's probably true.

But like super-concentrated Tide, with super-THC-concentrated pot, you smoke less of it. Unless you're an idiot like George Will.

Bad Writing?

So tell me if this is too cheesy...specifically the last part

Micah knocked on the door with gloved knuckles...

A moment later, the door opened a crack and a woman peered out at us over the security chain. I could only see half her face, but I recognized the dread locks and dimples from her drivers license photo. We had the right apartment, at least.

"What you want?" she said.

Geneva Russell, twenty six. She had co-signed for her boyfriend Ronnie's bond a few months prior but he never showed up to court. We were the unlicensed bondsmen that were there to pick him up on a warrant.

"We need to talk to Ronnie, Geneva," Micah said in a calm, familiar tone.

The eye widened at the mention of her name. That kind of familiarity from a complete stranger can be eye opening.

I think it's actually kind of funny...

Good Bad Writing

There’s good writing. There’s bad writing. Then there’s good bad writing.

Case in point: Richard Laymon’s novel The Beast House.

Here’s a paragraph from Chapter Three, in which our heroine Tyler (yes, a female Tyler) wipes blood from her face:

As the men started toward their car, Tyler knelt on the passenger seat and took a plastic container of Wet Ones from the glove compartment. She crawled out. Plucking one of the moist towels from the pack, she scrubbed her face. The paper came away smeared brown-red.

What’s wrong with this? you might ask. There’s strong active verbs (knelt, crawled, plucking, scrubbed, smeared). There’s not very many adjectives and the ones that are there add something to the sentences. And there are no adverbs.

In fact, it’s actually a pretty vivid description of what’s going on. So what’s the problem?

There’s too much going on. That’s the problem.

Laymon uses four sentences to describe the simple act of Tyler getting a Wet One out of the glovebox and wiping her face with it. A whole paragraph! Narrated step by step, leaving no action undescribed, no dot unconnected.

And hey, I understand. I’m a writer. I’ve done this too. You’re writing a story, narrating a story, and pretty soon the Narration overtakes the Story. Instead of “When he got home, he grabbed a beer and fell on the couch,” it becomes something grand, like “When he got home, he went straight to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He leaned on the door shaking with condiments and enjoyed the cool air blowing in his face. Three beers sat like soldiers on the shelf and he grabbed one. He popped the top with his bottle opener, tipped it back, and let the cool liquid pour into his mouth. He went into the living room and flopped on the couch…”

I could go on. I could even clean it up a little bit, put in some more strong active verbs, hone the adjectives a bit. (I try to skip adverbs anyway. Adverbs are very bad. And yes, "very" is an adverb and I just used it and look at how simple and meaningless that sentence is!)

So while a writer will get stuck in this narrative morass, a writer must also take into account the reader. And the reader, having the ability fill in gaps with their imaginations, doesn’t need to be spoon-fed every little action.

At least this reader.

Tax Cuts For Dubai

The shit has hit the fan in Dubai. Dubai World, the company the Bush administration was going to put in charge of US ports, is in major debt.

A year after the global slump derailed Dubai's explosive growth, the city-state's main investment arm, Dubai World, revealed this week it was asking for at least a six-month delay on paying back its $60 billion debt. Major credit agencies responded by slashing debt ratings on Dubai's state companies, saying they might consider the plan a default.

Yeah, if I didn't pay my bills for six months, that would be considered a default.

Clearly, Dubai needs a tax cut to help them resolve this financial problem.

Oh, wait! Dubai hardly has any taxes.

Individuals living in Dubai and the United Arab Emirates (UAE) are not subject to income tax. Like most other countries in the Middle East most government expenditure is funded by revenues from the oil industry. There is also no tax on rental income, capital gains, inheritances, or property transfers (stamp duty).

Black Friday

Everywhere, Black Friday...

CNN is doing a story on where the deals are. My e-mail inbox is full of offers from every company I've ever done business with for Black Friday sales. All over the web, it's Black Friday, Black Friday, Black Friday.

Buy, buy, buy!

Because if the last year or so has taught us anything, it's that over-exuberant consumerism has absolutely no down side.

When "Drill, Baby, Drill" Goes Bad

An article for intelligent people!


Typical Republican whining about regulations:

McInnis spokesman Sean Duffy said Tuesday that "having the most punitive rules in the nation" has been a big mistake.

"As the industry was hurting, as the economy in general was hurting," Duffy said, "in comes this very anti-industry, anti-jobs approach."

Wah! Anti-industry. Wah! Anti-jobs.

Only there's more to the story than Democrats being mean to industrialists.

The rules implement 2007 laws requiring more weight be given to health, wildlife and environmental concerns when making decisions about oil and gas development. The laws were passed amid record-breaking rates of natural gas drilling and complaints from landowners, conservationists, hunters and anglers about the impacts.

When you read "record-breaking rates of natural gas drilling," think "Drill, baby, drill."

When you read "complaints from landowners, conservationists, hunters and anglers," think "socialist agenda."

Instead of asking a Republican, let's ask a "real American," Brett Corsentino, described in the artilce as "a fourth-generation dairy farmer in south-central Colorado."

"What has hindered these companies is overproduction. I know about that because I'm a dairy farmer," he said.

Clearly, we need to make it easier for these companies to overproduce even more, removing roadblocks to polluting water supplies and screwing over landowners.

I like the way Mark Udall thinks, especially about this bark beetle problem we've got going on out here.

Udall talked about converting beetle-kill trees, which are already being turned into pellets for wood stoves in Kremmling, into other forms of biofuel.

“There’s been a lot of conversations among a lot of us about how do you create markets for this potential biofuel,” he said. “You can only make so many fence posts and so many pencils and so many bark-beetle belt buckles.

“And when you put into the mix that much of this timber is not particularly well-suited for middle- or even high-end lumber markets, then there’s a natural inclination to consider whether, with the new technologies we have, could you turn this biomass into biofuels, particularly ethanols. And the Farm Act, the Ag Credit Act and the Clean Air Act all provide opportunities to provide additional incentives to see if this is a real and sustainable operation or economic activity.”

I saw this coming over a year ago.

Visionary? Me? Nah....

Haiku 2

Delirious me
Stares at the flickering screen,
The colors a blur.

A Haiku

Tired beyond pain
Gone half-mad from lack of sleep
Seeking a warm bed

Just a Thought

Perhaps it's just this recession thing we're going through, but I wonder why...

If retailers can afford to offer such steep discounts on Black Friday, the day that they supposedly start making a profit, why can't they do that for the other ten months of the year?

A loss-leader is a loss-leader is a loss-leader, right?

Investment Advice

A buddy at work was talking about how Facebook was trying to go public and said that he should get in on that.

No, you shouldn't, I said.

Facebook is tremendously popular...right now. But fads, especially internet fads, are horrible investment vehicles.

Just look at Myspace. In 2006, Myspace was at the top of the internet heap. By 2008, Facebook was kicking their ass.

I suspect next year some social networking site we've never even heard of (yet) will be kicking Facebook's ass. Don't invest in them either.

An Illustration of Just How Far We've Fallen

Pakistan...yes, Pakistan...will be trying the masterminds of the Mumbai attacks.

Something to keep that in mind next time you hear someone argue that putting KSM on trial is a bad idea...

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that Dana Perino is clarifying her remarks.

By digging an even deeper hole.

I see, so when you said "We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term," you actually meant the second term and you weren't talking about the biggest terrorist attack on our country ever.

I can see why Bush hired you. Heckuva job, Dana.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful James Joyner has the integrity to admit when he's wrong, even if he still calls Bill Sparkman's suicide "the unlikely explanation."

Riiiiight. Because the likeliest explanation, based on the evidence, was that government-hating Kentucky rednecks with a meth lab killed Sparkman because he worked for the census.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that I'm man enough to cry during a movie.

Tonight's tear-jerker? Eight Below.

I know they're just dogs, but Jesus, man. Talk about making a grown man cry.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that the President of the United States is Barack Obama instead of some Republican with stale ideas like this nonsense from Mike Pence:

"The way to stimulate this economy and help working families is to let Americans keep more of their hard-earned money, not taking more from their wallets," he said. "Republicans have proposals to get our economy moving again, to achieve energy independence and lower the cost of health care."

Um, Mike...I've said it before and I'll say it again.

In my monthly budget, the amount of dough I put aside for taxes is minuscule. It's more than I spend on cigarettes, but less than I spend on, say, the natural gas I use to heat my home.

It's significantly less than the interest I pay to the bank on my mortgage (the bulk of it up front).

So you want to help my keep more of my hard-earned money? Regulate the banks. Reform healthcare. Invest in the United States instead of foreign lands with hostile people.

You know, pretty much the opposite of the Republican "Start Wars and Cut Taxes" platform.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for my Mom, mostly because she's, well, my Mom. But also because sometimes she doesn't get me what I asked for in the gift department, and sometimes because she does.

(After reading my post about the vacuum and the boots, my Mom ignored my request to do something nice for her wife...and instead got me a bagless vacuum. Not exactly what I wanted...but exactly what I wanted.)

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that I met a Guatemalan-Canadian woman who treats me better than any American woman ever did.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that even though I'm working Thanksgiving and all of this weekend, I'll be putting 34 hours of overtime down on my timecard this week.

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that my brother returned from Iraq in one piece.

So many did not.

Question of the Day

How come you don't hear any right wingers bragging about how many schools we're building in Iraq?

Is it because bragging about building schools in Iraq while closing schools (and libraries!) in the US just speaks to a lack of priorities?

I seriously want to know.

A couple years ago, any right winger worth their salt was telling us to trust Washington (ie, the Bush Administration) when they said that invading Iraq, destroying it, and then rebuilding it (a foreign country with no real American population) was a valid cause for the American people.

But now? Now all I hear is "Not only do I not trust Washington, but I don't even trust my own city council" and that investing in our own country just isn't worth it.

Bah.

Way To Go, Adam

I'm one of those guys that thinks that nothing good can come from American Idol. But alas, I am wrong.

Adam Lambert, whose career I have had the joy of NOT following, is definitely a good thing. I couldn't identify an Adam Lambert tune, and I'm not really into the whole glam-rock thing (especially the 21st Century kind), but I do love his fearlessness.

And the best part? Dude speaks some common sense when he says:

"I'm not a baby sitter," he said. "I'm a performer."

YES!

Megan McArdle is Dumb

Sorry to be so blunt about it, but the woman did write this paragraph (apparently) with a straight face:

There is a right way and a wrong way to blame George Bush for future budget deficits. The wrong way is to get mad about his tax cuts and the Iraq war. By 2019--the end of the budget window, and the period with which us structural deficit hawks are concerned--the Bush tax cuts will have long since expired. We are also scheduled to have withdrawn from Iraq. You cannot explain any portion of the 2019 budget deficit with these two factors.

I mean, do I even have to explain how dumb that is?

Let me put it this way. If you pissed away all kinds of money on strippers while making less money, you might have problems when you sit down to figure out a future budget.

It doesn't matter if you've now sworn off strippers and you got a raise. You've still got a lot of catching up to do...

Kill the Cyclist

Saturday's blog about narrowly avoiding death from an oblivious motorist was true. It pissed me off.

As did this:

The volunteer firefighter who struck and killed a 14-year-old girl on a bike while driving to the fire house will not be charged with careless driving.

You know why?

The decision letter obtained by 9Wants to Know suggests prosecutors worried they could not obtain a careless driving conviction because they could not prove that Justine Little was not to blame for the crash herself by turning in front of Linnebur's truck. In addition, Little's bike did not have a headlight as required by law.

No two ways about it: this is called "Blaming the victim."

The lesson: If you're speeding in a mud-covered truck and you kill a little girl who may or may not have a headlight...better hope you're a volunteer firefighter.

And this:

Charles Alexander Diez, the former North Carolina firefighter who shot cyclist Alan Simons in the head, has been sentenced to four months in jail.

Woah, another firefighter?

What the fuck? If you fight fires, you have a license to kill cyclists? I don't think so.

O Rly?

I have not watched this yet, but allegedly it shows Dana Perino, the hottest White House press secretary ever, saying the following:

"We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term."

I'm praying context somehow vindicates her, because that's not just wrong, it's stupid.

Updated: Context does NOT vindicate her. She's talking about the shooting rampage at Ft. Hood and wondering why the Obama administration won't call it terrorism.

Whatever. I could see Sean Hannity getting a stiffy when he was linking the Ft. Hood massacre with terrorism, but then again he's an idiot and he's probably not even aware that in his zeal to make Hassan a latter-day Osama Bin Laden, he's actually bolstering the case dovish lefties made when they said the Iraq War would create more terrorists than it killed.

I mean, before Iraq how many Islamic terrorists were in the United States Army? I'm not sure, but I'll make a guess and say "None."

After Iraq? Well, according to Sean Hannity, there's at least one...

Dragging

When I got up tonight, I was excited to get through the next two days. I was under the impression that I would get off at 8 in the morning on Thanksgiving and be done until Saturday morning, the start of my new shift.

Nope. Checking out the schedule, I have to work Thanksgiving night as well, getting off at 8AM on Friday...then starting my new shift at 7AM Saturday.

At 23 hours, that's not even technically a day off, and it's certainly not enough time to adjust.

I'm gonna be dragging......

Blogoreia

Stuff I would have blogged if I had blogged at all this weekend.

Joe Perry of Aerosmith is being a complete dick. He's clearly mad at Steven Tyler, but does he have to say crap like this:

"I think that you just have to listen to what's going on in the press. Because that's the only thing I know," he explained.

I think it's been clear to anyone following the Perry-Tyler Aerosmith feud that all the stuff "going on in the press" is coming from Joe Perry's mouth.

Remember that census worker who was found hanged with "fed" written on his chest? Suicide. Staged as a homicide. Probably for the insurance money. Don't call me Sherlock, but this one was quite elementary, dear Watson.

The Broncos...Lose again. Simms got the start because Woody Paige jinxed us Orton was injured.

(I was going to link to a Denver Post article about the Broncos, but fuck em. They won't even let me look at the article without registering...which means anyone clicking over is going to have the same problem. And you know? I'm just not down with that. If you want to run an ad-supported site, then don't make it difficult for ad-free blogs --such as mine-- to link to your shit. I'm okay with you getting paid when I send eyeballs your way, because after all, money isn't everything, but why would I send eyeballs your way if you're going to be all stingy with your content? Short answer? I'm not.)

When I started this post, I thought I had more...but I guess I don't. So there you go.

Happy Thoughts

Road Rage

Alright, dumbass. The reason I came to a complete and full stop was so you wouldn't hit me. Yes, I'm grateful that you realized your error and stopped...but now go.

Do not look at me with big empty cow eyes, waiting for me to do something. You're halfway through your turn already. I'm waiting for YOU.

You see how my feet are on the ground? You see this arm waving you through? Put your foot on the gas pedal and JUST FUCKING GO!

America's Last Days

Every year, Dorchester publishing (publishers of the Hard Case Crime books) has a clearance sale, where enterprising young book nuts like myself can pick up brand-new paperbacks for a buck a piece.

Being as cheap as I am literary, I took advantage. I picked up some horror books from some authors I've enjoyed in the past (Graham Masterton, Edward Lee) as well as all of their thrillers. Yes, all of them.

Hey, for a buck a piece, you can't go wrong.

One of them is a Tea Party protesters wet dream. It's called America's Last Days, by conservative columnist Douglas MacKinnon.

The back cover reads:

Is the United States of America the nation our Founding Fathers intended it to be? Or has the government lost sight of our ideals? To some of the most powerful men and women in the country --including a former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and a former Director of the FBI-- the answer is growing increasingly obvious, and so is the only possible solution: The time has come to revolt. Their daring plans will not only drive a government to its knees, they will change the course of history.

Jesus Christ.

I know they say "Don't judge a book by its cover" but this kind of separatist fantasy just doesn't appeal to me.

This reviewer on Amazon puts it succinctly:

If you are the kind of folk that would get off on the US being nuked so a quasi-Christian fascist state could be set up within our borders, then this book is for you.

Alas, this book is not for me.

From page 31:

Why did the Roman Empire crumble, sir? Complacency, ignorance, and lack of a moral compass. They lost it all because they took the things that really count for granted. They became fat, lazy, and sinful. They were overcome by lust, greed, and a gradual lowering of standards.

Um, I don't think that's how it went down...but someone's been reading their Gibbon!

The United States of today is exactly the same. We have lost our moral compass. Our country has become more classist, elitist, and separatist.

This in a book that celebrates a separatist plot!

Political correctness prevents us from targeting the enemy within our own borders who harbor the very al Qaeda terrorists who attacked us.

This, you might remember, is why we invaded Iraq. Why we're in Afghanistan. Because we're politically correct and ignoring the enemy within our own borders...

We can't protect our own borders with Mexico and Canada.

Protect our borders with Mexico and Canada from what? The barbarian hordes?

In a country that is over eight-five percent Christian, those very same Christians can no longer say "Merry Christmas," and can barely celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

Sorry, bud, but the 15% of us who aren't Christian don't have that kind of power. Say "Merry Christmas" if you want. Just don't get mad if I don't say it. And you can "barely celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ?" Dude, I celebrate Christmas and I'm an atheist.

We're on the verge of a race war, our inner-cities are on the brink of collapse, our educational system is a joke, teachers are not held accountable, affirmative action has destroyed trust and self-esteem, the growing rich are walling themselves off from ninety-five percent of other Americans, our politicians are all corrupt, stupid, taking bribes, or shunned by the few honest ones.

You say that like it's a bad thing. What kind of right-winger are you anyway?

Our Armed Forces have been weakened by a succession of shortsighted presidents to the point where we now have less effectiveness and manpower than before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.

Empirically untrue. We have a professional all-volunteer military that makes up in lethal effectiveness any shortcomings it may have in manpower.

We're still killing the unborn at record numbers, the nation is about to elect yet another liberal president.

Talk about a run-on sentence! Besides the CDC says this: "Overall, abortion ratios and abortion rates have declined over time until 2000. However, during 2000--2005, the abortion rate has remained unchanged." Declined, unchanged. Not exactly "record numbers" huh?

Liberal messages in television, the movies, and on CDs are polluting the minds of our young people. So much so, they have no respect for themselves, tradition, what's right, or their elders.

Old people always say this shit. They also say "Bingo" a lot.

Illegal immigrants by the hundreds of thousands protest in our streets for rights they have not earned, and then boycott honest businesses.

You might want to chomp down on that "rights they have not earned" bullshit, because after all, what did you do to "earn" your rights. You were born on US soil? (This sentence comes after MacKinnon cites the Declaration of Independence in his epigraph, specifically the part about being "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights." Clearly, MacKinnon has the consistency of my stool after eating honey dew.)

And finally hurricanes that slam into our mainland inform foreign terrorists that our communications and response in a natural or manmade disaster are a joke. Shall I continue, sir?

No, that's alright. I think we're done here.

Announcement

I'm quitting my blog.

In 2011.

Mick Foley Rulez

www.thedailyshow.com

Memo To The Liberal Media

Just because Michael Moore made a documentary this year, doesn't mean he should be automatically nominated for an Oscar.

A Sad Story

The gist:

Daniel Webb, 33, died after being taken from his home on County Farm Road Wednesday. Webb had been in a medical chair for nine months, covered in sores and human waste.

Authorities say Webb died from cardiac arrest.

Webb hadn’t left his house, or even walked for almost nine months. His wife Ada Webb says he hurt his knee and could no longer walk. He sat in a Lazy-boy for the rest of his life.

Now don't laugh because that is more cruel than funny. It was a medical chair, probably not even made by La-Z-Boy. (But inserting "Lazy-boy" in the article sure has it's connotations, huh?!)

But let's be real: Lazy only gets you so far.

Once you are no longer mobile, unable to make it to the bathroom much less into the kitchen, you need help.

You need a doting mother, a spouse, a good friend, someone to take care of you, to feed you, to put a roof over your head, to clean up your bedpan, to provide entertainment.

No man, left to his own devices, is going to eat himself to 900 pounds. It's impossible.

Here's this man's wife (the main culprit in his death, if you ask me) blaming shame and the lack of health insurance for his condition:

Webb, 33, didn't ask for help for all those months, because he was ashamed and didn't have health insurance, said his wife, Ada. He slept and used the bathroom in his chair and she cleaned it every day.

Left to his own devices, he would have starved to death in a puddle of his own piss and shit months ago.

But she cleaned his mess every day, brought him food (probably not salad and fresh fruit), paid his bills, and provided him shelter. Out of love, she enabled him into an early grave.

So when she says:

"I did all I could for him. He loved me with a passion," his wife said.

Of that, I have no doubt.

And that's why he's dead now.

So Much For That Idea

From this morning's Sentinel:

Completing the FasTracks project by the original deadline of 2017 depends on more funding from the federal government and the approval of a new sales tax increase by voters next fall, Regional Transportation District officials told metro-area mayors this week.

In order to complete the 119 miles of new rail that was originally proposed as part of the 2004 FasTracks ballot initiative in the next eight years, RTD will need to find approximately $2.1 billion of new funding. That money could come from federal grants and from a new sales tax increase that would require voter approvals.

In other words, fuggetaboutit.

Voters are stupid. They'd rather close libraries than pay for them, and you think they're going to pay for a world class transit system? Yeah right.

Why America is Doomed

In a discussion with a co-worker yesterday, I had the exasperating experience of uttering this sentence:

"I can't believe I have to defend the existence of libraries."

This is the level of societal degeneracy that I have to deal with...

Questions that I thought were settled a long time ago (ie, libraries=good!) are now matters of great debate. It's quite sad actually.

The Publishing Racket

When I was a younger man, all I wanted to do was write a best-selling book and make lots of money. If Lynn Veil's experiences are any indication, it's a good thing I got over those delusions, eh?

So how much money have I made from my Times bestseller? Depending on the type of sale, I gross 6-8 percent of the cover price of $7.99. After paying taxes, commission to my agent and covering my expenses, my net profit on the book currently stands at $24,517.36, which is actually pretty good since on average I generally net about 30-40 percent of my advance. Unless something triggers an unexpected spike in my sales, I don't expect to see any additional profit from this book coming in for at least another year or two.

I'm still going to write my book.

I'm just going to do it for the love, not the money.

Disgusting

This is what passes for Christianity these days?

Jesus does not approve. I asked him. He told me (in Aramaic*) that this kind of shit turns his stomach.

* Yeah, sorry, English-only enthusiasts, your Lord and Savior did not even speak your language. And if he returned today, you'd probably think he was a terrorist or an illegal immigrant or something.

Some brown guy in dirty clothes speaking a funny language? You kidding? Jesus would get deported!

Faults

You might have noticed I started putting tags on some of my posts, usually assigning blame (or not) in an ironic tongue-in-cheek way. That's

Put This In Your Pipe and Smoke It

Finally! Someone who wants to pay taxes.

Hint: It's not the Tea Party people.

(Updated: Among the list of my short term goals --paying off my truck, surviving the winter, getting my drivers license back-- I'm adding "getting a medical marijuana card." Do I need one? Probably not. But goddamnit, I want one.)

Let the War on Christmas Begin

Go solstice?

All I'm Going to Say About Sarah Palin

I never thought Sarah Palin would make a good Vice President, or even President, but hearing her bitch about being on the cover of Newsweek makes me think she's not even cut out to be a celebrity.

Rodrigo Y Gabriela

One band, or group, or musical sensation I've been digging on lately is Rodrigo Y Gabriela, a classical guitar duo from Mexico with heavy metal roots. I'd like to stress that last part.

These guys are metal heads. Their influences are bands like Metallica, Slayer, Testament, Overkill, Pantera, the real thrash metal stuff that I really love. They strip the concept down to just an acoustic guitar, losing the thumping bass player, the hair-swinging drummer, even the front man...and then adding some flamenco.

It's awesome.

Meta Quote of the Day

"The best thing we can say about the labor market right now is that it may be getting worse more slowly."

- Ben Bernanke